Brackenfur Campaign
by Moonstar and Spiritwind
Summary: Moonstar and Spiritwind introduce democracy to ThunderClan, and start the deputy race of 2007! Fangirls and boys from across the warrior nation come to ThunderClan to aid the campaign of their favorite cat. Join us as the chaos and insanity unfolds...
1. Segment I: Arrival

Moonstar: it was all my idea!! Because of my genius, Brackenfur now has a deputy campaign!! Mwahahahahaha!!

Spiritwind: yeah, but if it wasn't for me, you'd go insane. And you sound dumb when you laugh evilly -

Moonstar: you're worse at it.

Spiritwind: - and if you don't shut up, no one's going to read the story.

Moonstar (sniffs): fine then. But I get to read the disclaimer. We do not own Warriors! If we did, Brackenfur would be deputy.

Spiritwind: warning, contains hyperness, randomness, annoyingness, and Moonstar.

Moonstar: and Spiritwind.

Spiritwind: but containing Spiritwind doesn't require a warning.

Moonstar: ... hey, what's that supposed to mean?!

Spiritwind: Figure it out. I'm sure the readers will. Speaking of readers, let's get on with the story before you scare them away.

* * *

Brackenfur Campaign: Segment I

* * *

Spiritwind heard a tearing noise coming from Moonstar's den. She ignored it, thinking Moonstar was just having a Moonstar moment, but when it got louder and louder and didn't stop she decided to investigate.

Moonstar stood over her copy of Sunset, tearing it to shreds. Spiritwind pounced on her and took away the half-shredded book.

"What in StarClan's name are you doing?" the medicine cat growled.

"Firestar was about to make Brackenfur deputy!" Moonstar whined. "And then he chose Brambleclaw instead!!"

"_What?_" gasped Spiritwind. "That's... that's..." she leapt on Sunset and started shredding it.

Now don't get us wrong, we love Brambleclaw and all, but Brackenfur needs to be deputy. That's just the way it is. He's well qualified, a great warrior, a caring mate, and he's freakin' awesome.

"I have an idea!" meowed Moonstar.

"Does it involve sporks?" asked Spiritwind.

No answer.

"I have a _better _idea," mewed Spiritwind. "Lets -"

" - start a Brackenfur deputy campaign!!" finished Moonstar.

"That wasn't what I was thinking, but that works too..." meowed Spiritwind hesitantly.

"It'll be awesome!" Moonstar cheered. "We can do advertisements and rallies and all that cool stuff, even fancy dinners... with sporks!"

"Um... no." Spiritwind meowed flatly. "Besides, don't you think we should get Brackenfur's permission?"

"Nah, he'll be fine with it," Moonstar insisted. "C'mon, what are we waiting for?"

Spiritwind glared at her leader. "Well, I have an English - er, hunting test tomorrow, you haven't done all your homework - I mean, duties, my den is being destroyed by idiot sevies - I mean, enemy cats... oh yeah, and **Brackenfur lives in the story. We DON'T.**"

"So?"

"So _we can't do anything!_"

"Why don't we just poof into the story?" suggested Moonstar. "It's easy. You just go one... two..."

"Don't do it!" cried Spiritwind. "You always screw it up!"

"It'll be fine," Moonstar insisted, "as long as there are no distractions in the general vacinity... ooh look, a butterfly!"

"Well, since you can't poof properly, _I'll _do it," meowed Spiritwind with a humph. "One... two... three... **poof!**"

There was a loud poof, a flash of light, and Moonstar and Spiritwind were gone.

OOOOO

Brackenfur was returning from hunting patrol with Sorreltail, Poppypaw and Honeypaw. Cinderpaw was leaving camp just as they were walking in, padding behind Cloudtail on sunhigh patrol.

"Where's the rest of the patrol?" asked Brackenfur, seeing that his daughter and her mentor were the only ones.

"Everyone's busy," mewed Cinderpaw with a shrug.

Brackenfur's eyes narrowed. "We'll see." He stalked over to the warrior's den. Inside, Spiderleg and Hazelpaw were sharing tongues.

"Spiderleg! Hazelpaw! Sunhigh patrol, now!" ordered Brackenfur. The two cats nodded, and wordlessly sprang to attention. They darted out of the den and joined Cloudtail and Cinderpaw as they left camp.

"Wow, daddy!" Poppypaw chirped. "Everyone listens to you!"

"Yeah," agreed Honeypaw. "Maybe you oughta be deputy!"

Brackenfur laughed. "I don't know. Brambleclaw's a good deputy."

"But you'd be a _better _deputy," insisted Poppypaw.

Brackenfur searched his mind for an excuse to give his kits. "I er... in order to be deputy, you need a campaign," he explained.

"A ca-what?" meowed Honeypaw and Poppypaw in unison.

"A campaign," meowed Brambleclaw firmly.

"What's a campaign?" they asked eagerly.

"A campaign is where you put up signs, hand out stickers with your face on it, and have fancy fundraising dinners," he explained.

"With sporks?" asked Honeypaw.

"What's a spork?" inquired Poppypaw.

Brackenfur laughed. "A spork is like a spoon-fork hybrid."

"What's a spoon-fork hybrid?" asked Honeypaw.

"Maybe it's like a ThunderClan-RiverClan hybrid," suggested Poppypaw.

"I'm NOT a hybrid!" sulked Stormfur as he passed.

"Maybe like a mouse-chipmunk hybrid?" Honeypaw chipped in.

"I'm NOT a hybrid!" sqeaked the mouse-chipmunk hybrid at their feet.

"_Anyway_," Brackenfur continued, "I can't be deputy, because I don't have a campaign."

"Well then _get _a campaign!" mewed Honeypaw.

Brackenfur laughed again. His kits could be so mousebrained and silly. "It's not that easy," he explained. "A campaign is hard to assemble. You need all the equipment, plus people to manage it, and those things aren't going to appear out of thin air."

Suddenly, the air around them started shimmering. Two forms began to take shape - one of a very pale gray she-cat with deep blue eyes, and the other a tortoiseshell she-cat with a white diamond on her chest and white paws.

"Who're they?" whispered Honeypaw.

"Who're they?" whispered Moonstar.

"Shut up," hissed Brackenfur to Honeypaw.

"Shut up," hissed Spiritwind to Moonstar.

"Oh my gosh," Moonstar exclaimed. "ITS BRACKENFUR!!!"


	2. Segment II: Democracy

Spiritwind: Moonstar sucks. She won't let me be hyper. I really wanna be hyper in this chapter. How come _she _gets all the hyper time?

Moonstar: because I'm more hyper than you. It's a fact. Besides, I need someone to keep me from going insane.

Spiritwind: you already are insane.

Moonstar: lampshade...

Spiritwind: my point exactly.

Moonstar: PINE CONE!!

Spiritwind: should have a rule against insane people on the site...

Moonstar: shut up. I wrote the entire story.

Spiritwind: but I editted it.

Moonstar: lazy paws.

Spiritwind (pointedly ignoring Moonstar): thank you to all our reviewers for chapter one! You guys are awesome!

Moonstar: Troublestripe is the best, because I inspire her.

Spiritwind: you don't inspire anyone, you poison their minds... _I _inspire people. (gets mobbed by fans)

Moonstar (over the squeals of Spiritwind's fans): hypocrite. You always say that _I_ delay the story... look who's talking. Let's just get on with it already.

* * *

**Brackenfur Campaign: Segment II**

* * *

After Moonstar's outburst, all five cats were quiet for a moment. Poppypaw's shrill mew broke the silence. "So really, who _are _you?" 

"They don't smell like any other Clan," observed Honeypaw. "Or rogues, or kittypets."

"Let them speak," advised Brackenfur over the annoying mewls of his daughters and the much less irritating sounds of the forest around them. The apprentices, both about to mewl out another observation, clamped their muzzles shut.

"I'm Moonstar, leader of FireClan," mewed Moonstar, hopping from paw to paw with excitement.

"I'm Spiritwind, medicine cat of FireClan," meowed Spiritwind, beginning to share Moonstar's crazy enthusiasm.

"FireClan?" repeated Honeypaw and Poppypaw in confusion.

"Don't worry, FireClan is in an alternate dimension," Spiritwind reassured them, but for some reason it didn't help their confusion.

"We're here because we think Brackenfur is awesome," Moonstar announced.

"Wait," interrupted Brackenfur. "If FireClan is in an alternate dimension that we don't know about, how do know about me?"

"Don't worry, it's not just you," meowed Moonstar cheerily. "We know Honeypaw and Poppypaw too..." she watched as their eyes widened with wonder. "Yep, I'm psycic."

Spiritwind cuffed her leader. Poppypaw couldn't believe the medicine's disrespect for the leader, _if _she was really a leader and _if _she was really a medicine cat. "She's not psycic," insisted Spiritwind. "_I'm _the one who gets dreams from StarClan. Anyway, I guess you want us to explain why we're here?"

Three heads nodded slowly. "Sure," mewed Brackenfur, voicing all three opinions.

"We're here because we love you!!" squealed Moonstar, hugging Brackenfur. Brackenfur twitched and pushed Moonstar off. "And you're not the only ones," Moonstar continued. "I think Reedwhisker is super huggable... but he's in RiverClan, right? Hmm, Spiritwind, he's our next campaign target..."

"And I love Lionheart," meowed Spiritwind matter-of-factly. "I'm going to revive him from the dead. And Jaypaw is evil. He's trying to take over StarClan."

"Wait," meowed Brackenfur, Spiritwind's words lost on him. "Did you say _campaign target_?"

"Yep!" the two mysterious she-cats chorused.

"You're the rightful deputy of ThunderClan," Spiritwind explained as if even a newborn kit would know.

"Told ya so," murmured Poppypaw with a smirk.

"But Brambleclaw is deputy," meowed Brackenfur modestly.

"Awww, he's so humble!" meowed Moonstar. Brackenfur glared at her.

"And how was Brambleclaw chosen?" mewed Spiritwind, ignoring Moonstar out of habit.

"Firestar appointed him," answered Honeypaw.

"That's right," meowed Spiritwind smugly. "Firestar appointed him. That's not very fair, is it?"

"Why not?" asked Poppypaw.

"That's the way of the warrior code!" added Honeypaw.

"Who's your least favorite apprentice, Honeypaw?" asked Moonstar.

"Icepaw." Honeypaw hissed without missing a beat. "She's _horrible_. She's always bragging about her great hunting and fighting skills and about her parents... personally I think Ferncloud is annoying."

"Don't talk about your elders that way," Brackenfur meowed vainly.

"I think she's annoying too," muttered Moonstar. Brackenfur glared at her. Again. She looked away from the campaign target and acted as if she hadn't said anything to Brackenfur, and continued speaking with Honeypaw.

"Well, Honeypaw, what if Firestar decided that Icepaw should be deputy?" she mewed. "That would be the way of the warrior code, wouldn't it?"

"But that's _so_ unfair!" both apprentices whined.

"Exactly," mewed Moonstar, happy with her argument. "In the United Sta - er, World of FireClan, deputies are chosen by the whole Clan."

"The whole Clan?" they echoed.

"Yeah," mewed Spiritwind. "The Clan votes, and whoever has the most votes wins."

"And to get votes, you need to have a campaign," added Moonstar.

"So your daddy needs a campaign... and here we are!" finished Spiritwind.

All three ThunderClan cats gawked at them. "So..." mewed Brackenfur, breaking the silence. "Why don't you... um... come back to camp with us and introduce you're, um, _voting_ idea to Firestar..."

"Firestar!" squealed Moonstar. "He's SO huggable! I love when he and Graystripe snuck onto RiverClan territory..."

"WHAT?!" Poppypaw exclaimed. "_Firestar_? Never..."

"_Anyway_," meowed Brackenfur, hoping his kits wouldn't lose respect for their leader, "We need to fill Firestar in on your voting idea..."

"It's called democracy," meowed Moonstar.

"Yeah. What you have now is _communism_," mewed Spiritwind.

"What's communism?" asked Honeypaw.

Moonstar grinned evilly. "ShadowClan is communist."

"Ewww," spat Honeypaw. "I hate communism."

"That's right," meowed Spiritwind. "Democracy makes everyone happier... except maybe Brambleclaw... and all your warrior ancestors... so what are we waiting for?"

Suddenly Brackenfur disappeared into the bushes. An instant later, he was back with two mice. "Here," he meowed, dropping them at Moonstar and Spiritwind's paws, apparently trying to change the subject.

"You're a great hunter," praised Spiritwind, though she was eyeing the mouse suspiciously.

"What's wrong with the mouse?" asked Honeypaw.

"Well, there aren't any mice on FireClan territory..."

Honeypaw and Poppypaw gaped at them. "So what do you eat?" the latter whispered.

Spiritwind shrugged. "I'm a vegetarian, so I like veggie burgers, fruits, fries, and stuff like that. Moonstar likes all that too, except she has something against veggie burgers and she's obsessed with hamburgers and turkey sandwiches."

Moonstar pounced on an invisible enemy, clawing at the air. "DIE, VEGGIE BURGURS, DIE!" She noticed everyone else staring at her and stopped. "Turkey sandwhiches... yum..."

"Well, try the mouse," mewed Honeypaw, glancing at Moonstar, obviously thinking she was crazy.

Both FireClan cats took a bite of a mouse. Instantaneously, their eyes lit up.

"MOUSE!" yowled Spiritwind, and started dancing in circles. "MOUSE!"

"And I thought Moonstar was insane..." mumbled Poppypaw.

"MOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUSE!!"

Moonstar grinned. She was very happy. A second ago, everyone had thought she was insane, but now Spiritwind was taking the cake. She turned to face Brackenfur and his daughters, her back to her temporarily insane medicine cat.

"MOUSEY MOUSEY MOUSEY!!"

"We're here to run your campaign, so let's get started," she mewed.

"MOUSE MOUSE MOUUUUSE!!"

"To be fair, we've also got to get campaign managers for the other deputy candidates in the election we'll be running. Who do you think'll want to run?"

"MOUSIE!"

Brackenfur tried and failed to ignore Spiritwind. He shifted uneasily. "Um... Brambleclaw, obviously... and I don't know who else. Maybe Dustpelt and Thornclaw, or even Squirrelflight. I don't know."

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE."

"I love how I'm not the most insane person in the general vacinity for once," Moonstar meowed happily. "Anyway, let's see who wants to run, and get campaign managers for them."

"MOUSE?"

"I think Spiritwind's trying to ask where we _get _other managers from," meowed Brackenfur uneasily.

"Mouse mouse!" agreed Spiritwind, thankfully sounding somewhat less insane.

"Easy peasy," mewed Moonstar cheerily. "We ask the readers!"

"Readers?" he asked.

"Yeah," mewed Moonstar. "In reality, the Clans don't exist, and you're all just characters in a book. I was meaning to tell you that earlier, when you asked how we knew who you were. We know from the books. People read the books. That's how you get fans. So we can ask some other fans to run the campaigns for the other candidates."

Brackenfur still seemed confused, but he didn't want Moonstar to explain it anymore because he knew that he still wouldn't get it. "Alright..."

"Good," meowed Moonstar.** "Now taking applications to run other cats campaigns or join the Brackenfur Campaign. Just give me your warrior name, a description if possible, and you're hired!"**

"Mouse!"

Brackenfur sighed. "What am I getting myself into...?"

* * *

_Post Corner_

Spiritwind: we really need to get rid of Honeypaw and Poppypaw. They're beginning to bother me.

Moonstar: alright. Wanna drown them, or get them eaten by badgers? You pick.

Spiritwind (glares): NO. How about we just send them back to camp?

Moonstar: or on a mission to RiverClan (on the opposite side of the lake)!

Spiritwind: fine then. Mouse.

Moonstar: no drowning?

Spiritwind: NO. Stop acting like an evil...

Moonstar: ...lampshade?

Spiritwind: whatever. See you guys next time, and **don't forget to apply for your favorite deputy candidate's campaign!** And by the way, **we've started a forum just for the Brackenfur Campaign**. Check it out!


	3. Segment III: Materialize

Moonstar: I blame Spiritwind for the long wait!

Spiritwind: it's not my fault you wouldn't write the chapter.

Moonstar: I asked _you _to do it!

Spiritwind: but I refused.

Moonstar: fine then. I want all the readers to know that I WROTE THIS ENTIRE STORY!!

Spiritwind: and I edited it.

Moonstar: you won't when you go away to sleepaway. Then the campaign will be all mine! Mwahahahahaha!!

Spiritwind: but you'll still put me in it.

Moonstar: shut up. You're the insane mouse obsessed weirdo.

Spiritwind: look who's talking. Huh, who thought I'd see the day when Moonstar accused someone else of being a weirdo...

Moonstar: and thanks to everyone who signed up for campaigns! Your candidates appreciate your help. If you didn't submit an appearance, I created one for you. Deal with it. Be happy... you shall appear in this chapter... mwahahahaha!!

* * *

**Segment III: Materialize**

* * *

Moonstar and Spiritwind went out to Sky Oak (without Brackenfur, regretfully) to help their fellow campaigners materialize. Brackenfur was too freaked out; and besides, he was stuck with Firestar explaining to him the idea of democracy.

Seven cats slowly shimmered into view in turn. Fellow fangirls, Moonstar thought happily. The first one to appear was fire-pelted with light amber eyes; the next was a black tabby with barely noticable streaks of green, blue and purple across her pelt. To Spiritwind's surprise, one of her eyes was green and the other was purple. Both she-cats decided to ignore it and watch the others appear.

The next cat gave Brackenfur's campaign manager yet another surprise; it was _not_ a fangirl.

"What do you call fan toms?" Moonstar whispered.

Spiritwind shrugged. "Fan_boys_?"

Moonstar giggled. Spiritwind cuffed her. The black and white tom glared at them. Moonstar and Spiritwind used the next appearing cat as an excuse to look away.

It was another she-cat, to their relief. They didn't know how they would have dealt with more than one _tom_ who read warriors. They'd always thought is was a girl thing. And then there would be the awkwardness of introducing him to the other fangirls...

The appearing she-cat had a sleek black pelt with light furred pawtips and a little light tip on her tail. She had bright yellow eyes, gleaming with excitement. Just as her eyes came into focus, the next cat appeared.

Moonstar started to giggle again. It was a _kit_. How did a kit expect to help them with a campaign? She watched as the gray furred kit materialized, her green eyes glowing with defiance. Spiritwind nearly jumped back. The kit looked like she could kill a cat with a glare.

The next two she-cats began to appear together. One was a light gray tabby with feather blue eyes, and the other was a silver tabby with darker streaks. They sat down simultaneously, gazing at Moonstar and Spiritwind expectantly.

"Um... why don't we introduce ourselves?" Spiritwind suggested. "I'm Spiritwind, medicine cat of FireClan, and co-manager of the Brackenfur Campaign."

"I'm Moonstar!" mewed Moonstar, hopping from toe to toe with excitement. "I'm leader of FireClan, so I can boss Spiritwind around, and also co-manager of the Brackenfur Campaign, but I do all the work."

Spiritwind glared at her leader, but held back a sharp retort as the fire pelted she-cat, the first to appear, began to speak.

"I'm Firehawk," she mewed cheerfully. "I'm going to manage the Leafpool Campaign."

"Leafpool Campaign?" all present repeated incrediously. "She can't be deputy," Moonstar explained kindly, as if to a stupid kit. "She's medicine cat."

"I don't care!" snapped Firehawk. "She can be medicine cat _and _deputy!"

"Well, I can't object, since I was planning the same thing myself," mewed Spiritwind.

"_What?!_" hissed Moonstar.

"What?" Spiritwind defended. "I am the coolest cat in FireClan. I would make an awesome deputy while still remaining medicine cat. Speaking of which, after Blizzardclaw runs into the booby trap I left in her den, can you make me deputy?"

"You're going to kill your own deputy?!" Moonstar yowled. "I thought she was your friend!"

"She is my friend, and I'm not killing her," Spiritwind mewed happily. "Just injecting her with a super special potion I made to make her suddenly not want to be deputy anymore."

"_Anyway_," interrupted Firehawk. "I'm going to manage the Leafpool Campaign whether you like it or not."

"Fine," meowed Moonstar, still glaring at Spiritwind. "I'll deal with my evilly scheming campaign parter and medicine cat when we get back to out own dimension. In the mean time, I can use her evil schemes to help Brackenfur..."

"_Anyway_," Firehawk repeated, deciding rightly that Moonstar needed interrupting.

"I'm Aurorastream," meowed the weird-eyed she-cat before anyone else could speak. Everyone seemed to find her mismatched eyes oddly disturbing as well as the streaks in her fur, but said nothing. "I'm going to manage the Thornclaw Campaign."

Spiritwind poofed a notepad in front of her and started magically taking notes.

_Us - Brackenfur_

_Firehawk - Leafpool_

_Aurorastream - Thornclaw_

_Must remember to apologize to Blizzardclaw_

_World domination is near..._

Spiritwind quickly erased the last two lines. She didn't want Moonstar to know about her evil world domination plots, which would be seen to after the Brackenfur Campaign.

"I'm Eaglefoot of EarthClan," meowed the fanboy in a calm tone. Moonstar and Spiritwind tried not to gawk at him. "I'm here to manage the Dustpelt campaign."

_Eaglefoot the Fanboy - Dustpelt_, Spiritwind added to her magical little notepad that hovered in the air in front of her nose.

"I'm Starglow," mewed the black she-cat with the light tipped paws and the eyes that shone like starlight. "I'm managing the Sandstorm Campaign."

_Starglow - Sandstorm_, Spiritwind added messily.

"Good," mewed Moonstar. "I was afraid someone wouldn't do her. I was just rereading _A Dangerous Path_, and young Sandstorm and Fireheart are sooooo cute! Not to mention even more huggable..."

"I'm Silvermist," interrupted the silver she-cat. Moonstar glared at the world, wonding why she was being interrupted so much. "And this is Feathertail - "

Everyone stared at Feathertail, the gray tabby, in shock. "H - how could you take the name Feathertail after _Moonrise_?" asked Aurorastream.

Feathertail shrugged. "If you've got a problem with my name, I've got a problem with yours. What kind of name is Aurorastream anyway?"

Aurorastream narrowed her mismatched eyes, but said nothing. Spiritwind felt mixed excitement and annoyance; while fighting between the campaign managers would be fun, it would be annoying to deal with... but still fun.

"Anyways, we're here for the Silvermist Campaign," mewed Silvermist.

Again everyone stared at them in shock. "But... but you're not even a part of ThunderClan!" meowed Firehawk.

"Well," snapped Feathertail, "Did you know that in the United States - er, our dimension - a cat can't be elected presid - I mean, leader, unless they were born in the country? Now how fair is that?"

"Not very," admitted Firehawk.

"Exactly," mewed Feathertail. "If we're going to set up a democracy in ThunderClan, we're going to do it right. Which means that anycat can run for deputy; including Silvermist!"

Moonstar and Spiritwind exchanged glances, but there was nothing they could do after their whole democracy speech.

"Fine," mewed Spiritwind uncertainly. " Now is that all? Good. Now - "

"Wait," hissed the kit. All eyes turned to her.

"What is it?" asked Spiritwind. "Maybe you should go back home, and maybe come back when you're an apprentice - "

"I'm not a kit," snarled the kit. "I'm a _warrior_. My name is Swampwhisker, and if you don't believe me, I'll fight you right here right now, and we'll see who gets their eyes clawed out..." as she spoke she was unsheathed her claws and baring her teeth, lowering into an intimidating fighter's crouch for a little gray kit.

"Listen, Swampkit, or whoever you are - " Spiritwind started, but never got to finish.

"NEVER call me Swampkit!" yowled Swampwhisker, lunging at Spiritwind and bowling her over. Firehawk and Aurorastream quickly grabbed her by the scruff and lifted her off the medicine cat, with Moonstar pointedly not helping.

"Easy does it," meowed a slightly startled Spiritwind. "Now, uh... Swamp_whisker_, who's campaign did you come to manage?"

"Brackenfur," meowed Swampwhisker.

"Um... _no_," Spiritwind objected.

"Fine. Whitestorm."

"Uh, what book are you up to?" asked Moonstar. "In case you hadn't noticed, Whitestorm was already deputy, but he died at the end of _Darkest Hour_. Oh by the way, he was SOOO huggable... I love Whitestorm..."

"I _know_," spat Swampwhisker. "I'll bring him back from the dead. Besides, no one else is worthy."

"Fine then," mewed Moonstar. "You can come back to camp with us, and decide by tomorrow on an actually living cat to manage, ok?"

"If not we're sending you back to the nursery," Spiritwind added.

Swampwhisker was about to lunge at Spiritwind again, but Starglow stopped her. Without a word, the seven mysterious cats from the mysterious dimension padded back to ThunderClan camp.

-:-:-:-

Brackenfur quietly scraped his claw against the rock outside Firestar's den.

"Come in," came his leader's reply.

"Um, Firestar..."

"Yes, Brackenfur? Is something troubling you?"

"Yes!" cried Brackenfur. Firestar had a surprised look in his glowing green eyes that Moonstar was annoyed about because they never wrote about them anymore in the New Prophecy.

"So... what's on your mind?" Firestar questioned uncertainly.

"I think I'm going insane, Firestar!" Brackenfur cried, bursting into a panicked rant. "These two psycotic she-cats _materialized_ right in front of me, Poppypaw and Honeypaw - ask them, they saw it too! - and said that I needed to be deputy. I told them I didn't want to be deputy, and they said they were going to force me. I swear I'm not trying to take over, Firestar! But then they said that our Clan was run unfairly by something called communism, and they said that communism is bad because ShadowClan is communist, but I have no idea what all this commywhatever is! And then they said that we need to run our Clan by democracy, because in their twisted world, they run everything by democracy, where deputies are chosen by _votes_, where every cat in the Clan votes and the cat with the most votes becomes deputy, and in order to get votes you need a campaign, and that _they _would run _my_ campaign, and that we don't actually exist but we're in a book and people read our book and become fangirls and love us and hug us and want to vote for us and they'll use fangirls to help people vote for me and other fangirls to help set up campaigns for other cats just to be fair... and then they ate mice and went insane off mice, and they talked more about the alternate dimension where they came from..."

"Uh, Brackenfur..." Firestar started, braking off his rant.

"DON'T TELL ME I'M INSANE! Poppypaw and Honeypaw saw it too!" Brackenfur insisted.

"Uh, Brackenfur, when you walked in you said you thought you were going insane," Firestar pointed out.

"BUT I'M NOT! It's those fangirls who are!" Brackenfur cried.

"Spottedleaf?" Firestar mewed suddenly.

Brackenfur stared at him blankly. "What the...?"

Firestar shook his head. "Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if this was a dream, so I called out to Spottedleaf, but she wasn't there, which means that this is reality and one of my young warriors actually is going insane."

"I'll prove it to you! They'll get back to camp soon. I'll show them to you!" Brackenfur insisted.

"Brackenfur, you know what you need?" Firestar asked the trembling warrior. Brackenfur shook his head. "You need a relaxing wash in the stream, a nice big piece of fresh kill, a nap, and a psychiatrist," he meowed.

"Wash... food... sleep... psychiatrist... PSYCHIATRIST?!?!" Brackenfur yowled. "I don't need a psychiatrist!"

"Don't worry about it, Brackenfur. I'll find a good one for you," Firestar promised, and with that he dismissed Brackenfur before the young warrior could argue further.

-:-:-:-

"NOOO!!" screamed Moonstar, suddenly collapsing on the ground.

"Moonstar!" cried Spiritwind, checking her leader's heartbeat. "What's wrong?"

"Ps... psy... PSYCHIATRISTS!!" Moonstar cried.

Spiritwind took a step back in terror. "It's alright, Moonstar. There aren't any psychiatrists around here, I promise," she mewed, though she was also trying to convince herself.

Moonstar shivered. "They're out to get me," she whispered. "All the psychiatrists..."

"And the guidance councilors," Spiritwind added.

"NOO!! Don't even _speak_ of guidance councilors!" Moonstar ordered as she lifted herself to her paws.

"How was your day, Moonstar?" Spiritwind mewed, cheerily immitating the school - er, Clan - guidance councilor. "Good? Wow! How do you feel about that? Great? That's awesome! What did you do today? Lots of homework? Aww, how do you feel about that? Tired and annoyed? Well that's too bad... what else makes you tired and annoyed? Your brother? What does he do? He tattles on you? And how do you feel about that? Aww, and is anything else wrong...?"

"Yes," snapped Moonstar. "My medicine cat is immitating a _guidance councilor_."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"NOOO! STOP IT!" Moonstar wailed, holding her paws over her ears.

Firehawk nudged Starglow. "Is she alright?"

Starglow shuddered. "I know what she means..."

"Me too," agreed Aurorastream. "I think all guidance councilors are evil."

Feathertail and Silvermist exchanged fearful glances. Swampwhisker defiantly stood her ground, though even she seemed a bit nervous.

"Maybe after we finish with our campaigns, we can make a plot to destroy all the guidance councilors in the world," Spiritwind suggested. "But for now, we need to focus on our campaigns."

"Right," agreed Moonstar, trying to seem firm.

"What triggered that?" asked Eaglefoot shyly.

"Shut up, fanboy," snapped Spiritwind. "She's not in a good mood..."

"Stop calling me fanboy, fangirl," snarled Eaglefoot.

"Hypocrite," Spiritwind remarked.

"Why don't you like being called fanboy anyway?" asked Firehawk.

"Would you like it if I called you fangirl all the time?" Eaglefoot countered.

"I wouldn't really care," Firehawk retorted.

"You're not helping," snapped Eaglefoot. "_Anyway_, what triggered your little psychiatrist spasm?"

"It's Brackenfur," whispered Moonstar with horror. "I think they're getting him a psychiatrist."

"Then what are we waiting for?" meowed Spiritwind. "We have to save him... and then get on with out campaigns. C'mon!"

And with that, they charged as fast as they could run towards the camp.

* * *

Moonstar: still taking late campaign manager applications. And Swampwhisker, please choose a _living_ candidate. 

Spiritwind: and DIE PSYCHIATRISTS DIE!

Moonstar: don't forget the guidance councilors... (shudders)

Spiritwind: yeah, I guess they're worse than psychiatrists anyway.

Moonstar: in the making of this chapter, we meant to offend no one. So if you're offended, well, leave.

Spiritwind: yeah. We're not forcing you to read this or anything... but we'd be happy if you did.

Moonstar: just remember: nothing here is directly meant to insult or offend anyone... except maybe Spiritwind... so please don't take any offense to anything we say or report anything. Remember, I make fun of anyone and everyone. Nothing is aimed at you.

Spiritwind: and a little note to Feathertail and Silvermist -

Moonstar: let me say it. It was my thing anyway. Hey guys; we were about to post this chapter when we got your review, and the chapter was already written, so we kinda squeezed you guys in. Don't worry, I don't mind - the more the merrier - but it may be a little faulty in places, like you may not have appeared when all the other characters did, or had enough lines; don't worry, it'll be fine next chapter.

Spiritwind: and on that note, we end our little episode of insanity... poor Brackenfur... see you next time!


	4. Segment IV: Delusional

Moonstar: all the late entries are being added to this chapter! That would be Airwing, Bramblestripe and Firehawk.

Spiritwind: oh yeah, about Firehawk: since you're actually Rainfire, we've changed your name in the last chapter to Rainfire, changed your appearance to the one you gave us, and Firehawk will appear in this chapter to help you out with your campaign.

Moonstar: I love how Bramblestripe specified that she wasn't insane...

Spiritwind: because the rest of us are. Heh...

Moonstar: Oh yeah, and sorry to Swampwhisker and any other characters who we kind of screwed up their personalities... we're working on it.

Spiritwind: by "we're working on it", she means working on fixing it, not working on screwing it up.

Moonstar: and Sapphirepaw is right; we forgot therapists! How could we... oh no!! (gets chased away by a mob of angry therapists)

Spiritwind (cackles): don't worry, I'm sure some lovely therapists will appear in this chapter... and how do you feel about that?

Moonstar: I think we should start the segment before the therapists attack me with feelings again.

Spiritwind: warning for this chapter: minor inappropriate joke on my part.

Moonstar: inspired by me, of course. It's fine... but may not fit into the perameters of K plus... and about that, I think we're going to raise it to T, to give ourselves space. Just a little warning that doesn't really matter, especially since none of you are reading this.

* * *

**Segment IV: Delusional**

* * *

Moonstar and Spiritwind were racing back to ThunderClan camp with Rainfire, Starglow, Aurorastream, Eaglefoot, Silvermist, Feathertail and Swampwhisker (from this point on also known as da gang) when Spiritwind suddenly stopped in her tracks. She skidded to a stop in the dirt, spraying dust everywhere and causing Moonstar, who was merely a pace behind her, to trip right over her medicine cat. The rest of da gang calmly came to a halt behind them. 

"What the heck - I mean, what in StarClan's name was that about, Spiritwind?" snapped Moonstar.

But Spiritwind was paying no attention to her annoyed leader; her blue gaze was fixed on an empty patch of air directly in front of them, as if she were seeing something that wasn't there.

"Dang it," spat Moonstar. "I always knew she was delusional."

"Wait, I see it too!" mewed Feathertail excitedly.

"Don't worry," meowed Silvermist. "She's also delusional."

"All fangirls are delusional," muttered Eaglefoot.

"All fanboys are insane," retorted Aurorastream.

Eaglefoot looked like he wanted to bury his face in his paws. "Is this all a conspiracy against fans who happen to be male?" he complained. He shot a glare at Aurorastream. "And by the way, look who's talking."

"I see who's talking," Starglow countered. "You were."

"I knew it! It's a conspiracy! You're sexists, all of you!" Eaglefoot accused. He turned back to Aurorastream to yell something else at her, but the streaked warrior seemed to be in a different world entirely.

"What the..." Eaglefoot started, but as he followed her transfixed gaze he realized what she - and all the other cats now - were staring at.

Three cats were shimmering into view in front of them, just as they had moments ago. "I guess these cats are just the lazypaws," Moonstar meowed. Everyone gazed at her questioningly. "What? These are the cats who were supposed to turn up when you did but they either didn't feel like getting into a non existant dimensional wormhole or they have limited computer access, which in the twenty first century is only possible for warrior cats, who have none at all, so..." Everyone was looking at her funny. "Never mind," she snapped. "Let's just introduce ourselves to the lazypaws."

By now the three cats were fully materialized. Suddenly, Rainfire jumped. "Firehawk!" she yowled. "I knew you'd come!" she sprinted over to a flame-pelted she-cat and bowled her over, and proceeded to play fight in the dust.

"And by the way," meowed Rainfire, gasping for breath as Firehawk swiped at her head, "This is - " Firehawk tackled her and they wrestled in the dust for a little while before Rainfire came up for air again. "Firehawk. She's working with me on the Leafpool campaign." Both she-cats lifted themselves to their paws and gave da gang lopsided grins, their eartips warming in embarresment.

"Anyway, I'm Bramblestripe," meowed a brown tabby with white paws and shimmering gold eyes, taking the attention away from the very grateful (and still embarrassed) Rainfire and Firehawk. "I'm going to manage - "

"Not Cloudtail," interrupted Swampwhisker.

"Why not?" asked Moonstar.

Swampwhisker shrugged casually. "Because I chose Cloudtail. Why not, he's huggable." At this, Moonstar hugged an invisible Cloudtail in front of her fondly. "And since I was here before them, I get first pick." She playfully stuck out her tongue at Bramblestripe, her tail waving from side to side in amusement.

"I wasn't going to pick Cloudtail anyway," stated Bramblestripe. "I'm here to manage the Brambleclaw Campaign."

"Fewf," meowed Moonstar and Spiritwind at the same time. "It would be bad if no one picked him," Moonstar added, "Seeing as he's the current deputy and all. I was afraid no one was going to do him."

"Squirrelflight did," muttered Spiritwind.

"SPIRITWIND!" Moonstar yowled. "This is a _K plus_rated fic!"

The medicine cat shrugged. "I'm gonna sneak into the story stats and raise it to T later anyway. And how do you think Lionpaw, Jaypaw and Hollypaw were created?" Da gang was speechless.

"By Kate Cary and Cherith Baldry, together known as Erin Hunter," replied Moonstar edgily.

Awkward silence.

"_Anyway_," meowed a gray and white she-cat pointedly, "I'm Airwing of SquirrelClan. I'm here to manage the Squirrelflight Campaign."

Another awkward silence. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw wasn't exactly the best topic at the moment.

"You're blind," meowed Starglow bluntly, gazing into Airwing's gray eyes.

"Well, Jaypaw's blind and he gets along just fine," meowed Airwing calmly.

Another awkward silence. Jaypaw fit into the Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw catagory.

"But Jaypaw's trying to take over the world," mewed Moonstar.

Airwing shrugged. "Maybe he should," she meowed, somewhat darkly. Everyone stared at her. "What?" she defended. "I try to see all sides of the issue."

"_Anyway_," meowed Moonstar, "We should be getting back to camp. Brackenfur's being attacked by a psychiatrist and who knows what else, and we're just standing here?"

"Right," meowed Aurorastream. "Even though he's a rival candidate, it's not right to let him suffer at the paws of a psychiatrist."

"I'm with you all the way," meowed Swampwhisker firmly. "Everyone else who believes in some sportsmanship and wants to save Brackenfur, let's get going!"

And with that, da gang, now up to ten cats, dashed back to camp.

OOOOO

Firestar had gone to get Brackenfur only to find the young warrior hiding in the warriors den. "Don't make me," he whispered when he saw his leader come in.

Firestar's green eyes shone with sympathy. "I won't make you," he promised. Brackenfur relaxed. Firestar calmly surveyed the warrior. "But I think you should do it and stand up to it like a warrior."

Brackenfur rose to his paws. "You're right," he mewed firmly. It was the only way left to preserve his dignity. "Is she - he - it in your den?"

"She," Firestar meowed comfortingly. "And yes, she's in my den."

Brackenfur wordlessly left the warriors den, trekking across the camp to his doom. In Firestar's den death - or extreme boredom and discomfort - awaited him. A psychiatrist. A mousebrained _psychiatrist_. What had he - or the random cats who had materialized out of nowhere - gotten him into?

"You're here," meowed a gentle voice as Brackenfur entered the den. He nearly recoiled in shock as he recognized the cat.

"Bluestar!" he exclaimed. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I've come down from StarClan to be your psychiatrist," she meowed sweetly. "Or your therapist. Take your pick. I got a StarDegree in both."

Brackenfur was slowly backpedaling towards the exit. "N... no," he choked out. He respected Bluestar, which was one very good reason that she shouldn't be his psychiatrist/therapist; she was too amazing. But on the opposite end of the spectrum, the last time he'd seen her was during the dog attack, when he was trying to restrain his insanely pessimistic leader who was going on and on about how the Clan was doomed, StarClan didn't exist, they were all traitors and they were all going to die. Not exactly the words of a therapist.

Bluestar had a knowing look in her fiery blue eyes. "Firestar," she called, not loudly, but her starry voice seemed to echo across the den. Maybe it was the effects of StarClan or something, Brackenfur decided. On her cue, Firestar bounded into the den.

"Woah, how'd he hear you?" asked Brackenfur in awe. "Is there some sort of cool thing for StarClan cats where you can communicate with any cat on earth you choose, no matter where they are?" Bluestar nodded slowly. "That's so cool!" Brackenfur marvelled. He imagined being able to communicate telepathically with Sorreltail and the kits. "I can't wait till I go to StarClan," he meowed jokingly.

Bluestar and Firestar exchanged fearful glances. "It's worse than I thought..." mewed Firestar.

Brackenfur suddenly realized exactly what he'd said. "No... no, it's not like that!" he protested.

"Maybe he's just not comfortable around psychiatrists and therapists," meowed Bluestar calmly. "I'm sure he didn't mean it." She eyed Brackenfur scathingly for evidence of this, and her eyes softened as she seemed to find it.

"Get him a guidance councilor, then," Firestar ordered.

"I don't know if that's a good idea..." Bluestar trailed off.

"Why not?" asked the current ThunderClan leader.

Bluestar shrugged. "It might have traumatizing effects. Did you know who StarClan's newly appointed guidance councilor is?" She paused. Neither of the two toms answered. She took a deep breath. "Tigerstar."

"WHAT?!?!" yowled Firestar. "How did _he _become a _guidance councilor_?!"

"He wanted a second chance," Bluestar meowed evenly. "He figured the best way to do it was to help cats in need of guidance. We agreed. He's actually making a wonderful councilor, if you'll approve it. I promise I'll guard him just for your peace of mind."

Firestar nodded slowly. "Alright."

"WHAT?!?!" Brackenfur yowled. "I refuse to discuss my insanity with a traitor like him!"

"You have no choice," meowed Bluestar. "You're insane." With that, Firestar slowly walked out of the den, with Bluestar's image fading rapidly. In her place, a huge tabby tom with giant claws started to take form.

"Hello, Brackenfur," meowed a deep voice that the young warrior hadn't heard in a _very _long time. Yet it was lacking something; maybe it was the evilness. Or maybe it wasn't lacking, maybe it was something extra; the _feeling_. The _care_. The care of a guidance councilor. _No_... "It's good to see you today. I hope I can help you with your feelings."

"N...no," Brackenfur stammered. "I won't discuss my feelings with a traitor."

"Well, it looks like you'll have to," Tigerstar meowed gently. When was the last time "Tigerstar" and "gently" went in the same sentence anyway? "After all, it looks like you're stuck here with me." He noticed the Brackenfur struggling to hide a terrified expression creeping onto his face and a horror-struck expression in his eyes. "Don't try to hide your feelings, young one. Tell me - how do you feel about that?"

Brackenfur resisted the urge to explode. "You... you can't break me!" he meowed triumphantly. "I'm going to stand up to you like a warrior!"

Tigerstar scribbled down some notes. "Good, good. So tell me, what makes you want to be such a brave warrior?"

"Well... I just don't want everyone to think I'm insane. I'm not, but they still think that," Brackenfur lamented.

"Hmm..." he scribbled down some more notes in his little hello kitty notebook white trying to hide the annoying kitten with his forepaw. He would _never _admit that he had chosen the notebook. Whoever asked was told that it was the only one StarClan had. "And how do you feel about that?"

"I feel sad, a little angry... hey!" he snapped. "You've tricked me into telling you my feelings!"

"I haven't tricked you into doing anything," Tigerstar insisted. "You're just opening up. It's natural. Allow yourself to be free."

Brackenfur resisted the urge to recoil in disgust. He was _such _a guidance councilor.

"I see you have mixed feelings on what I just said," Tigerstar observed. "Tell me how you feel about it."

"NOOOO!"

At first Tigerstar thought it was Brackenfur who'd shouted, but when he turned to the entrance to Firestar's den, he noticed nine she-cats and a tom, looking like they were ready to kill him.

"We're here for you, Brackenfur!" meowed Moonstar loudly.

"Get 'im!" yowled Spiritwind.

The ten cats charged, and within seconds Tigerstar was bound with the ropes Silvermist and Feathertail had magically produced and gagged by one of Rainfire's dirty socks.

"You alright, Brackenfur?" asked Moonstar calmly.

Brackenfur glared at her. "It's because of you I'm in this mess. Now the whole Clan thinks I'm insane."

Moonstar and Spiritwind gazed at him sympathetically. "Don't worry," Moonstar mewed cheerily. "We'll go explain everything to Firestar right now."

If Brackenfur had hands, he would have done a face-palm. For lack of human features, he made due with a loud groan.

* * *

Spiritwind: yay! Go gang! We saved Brackenfur! 

Moonstar: and kudos to him for - contrary to popular belief - somewhat retaining his sanity.

Spiritwind: somewhat.

Moonstar: you stop making stupid comments. You're in no place to do so, expecially since you're the reason we won't be updating for about a month.

(crowd gasps)

Spiritwind: how is it _my_ fault?!

Moonstar: you're the one who's dragging me away to overnight camp!

Spiritwind: you agreed to come!

Moonstar: fine then. But whatever the case, we're sorry to say we won't be updating for a while.

Spiritwind: don't worry, we're not abandoning the story, and I promise we'll update as soon as we get back.

Moonstar: or I will. You're too lazy.

Spiritwind: no objection. (falls asleep)

Moonstar: sorry in advance about the delays. I hope this nice long chapter is enough to tide you over - ok, I know it's not - and we'll see you when we get back.


	5. Segment V: Explosive

Spiritwind: before we do anything else, we'd like to apologize for the wait. It's been...

Moonstar: 3 FLIPPIN' MONTHS!

Spiritwind: yeah. Me and Moonstar were away at sleepaway camp for a month...

Moonstar: and when we came back YOU refused to update.

Spiritwind: no, you refused to update.

Moonstar: but I wrote all the other chapters!

Spiritwind (shrugs): and you'll write the rest, too. I'm too lazy. (snores)

Moonstar (growls): you don't even read the reviews, lazypaws. Fine, be that way. I'll enjoy them all on my own. I happen to love the people who are reviewing and laugh out loud at their responses, but hey, your loss.

Spiritwind (snores)

Moonstar: and by the way, just to clarify, FIRESTAR WILL NOT DIE. _Ever_. I'm one of the few who remember how awesome he was in the first series, and I know that it's not him acting non-fireheart-ish in the New Prophecy; it's the Erin Hunters screwing up his personality! In this fic, we're trying to restore him to his former awesomeness, and in other words, he will NOT die.

Spiritwind (sleepily): yeah...

* * *

**Brackenfur Campaign**

**Segment V: Explosive**

* * *

"Wait," meowed Firestar. "Let met get this straight. You're cats from another dimension trying to establish this _democracy_ thing in our Clan."

"That pretty much sums it up," meowed Spiritwind. Moonstar had just given him a _very _long rant, and looked crestfallen at him having put it all into one sentence. She glanced around at da gang, all assembled in Firestar's den, for help, but they all stared at their paws, relieved that she had finally stopped talking.

"I'm sorry, but this democracy thing is against the warrior code," Firestar meowed.

"Doesn't the warrior code say to be fair?" asked a ginger she-cat who appeared out of nowhere.

Moonstar and Spiritwind whirled around to see said ginger she-cat standing in between Firehawk and Rainfire.

"Who're you?" asked Spiritwind. "I don't remember you materializing..."

"She's Gingerface, our new helper and member of the Leafpool Campaign," announced Rainfire. She shrugged. "Hey, the there's strength in numbers."

"Wait," interrupted Firestar. "Who said anything about this "campaign" thing actually happening? I think you should all just go back to your dimension or whatever."

"Think about it," meowed Moonstar. "It's _fair. _It would prevent some corrupt leader from choosing an equally corrupt deputy. It would ensure that the Clan actually likes the deputy. I think _someone_ had some bad experiences with that."

"That's only because Bluestar named me deputy after moonhigh," Firestar growled defensively.

"But with democracy, the election can take place immediately," Spiritwind pointed out.

"All you need to do is give us the word," added Moonstar. "We'll run the campaign, the elections and everything else for you."

Firestar considered it. It seemed logical. And he'd always been one for new things and adventure...

"C'mon, Firestar," mewed Moonstar. "I know Firepaw's in there somewhere. Where's your sense of adventure?"

The ThunderClan leader sighed. "Alright. As long as you don't drive my Clan insane."

Moonstar and Spiritwind exchanged wicked grins.

_Too late._

OOOOO

"Alrighty, we're clear!" Moonstar meowed cheerily. Da gang was now seated just outside ThunderClan camp, getting briefed by Moonstar and Spiritwind before beginning their campaigns. "One last thing - who's going to tell Brambleclaw about this? I don't think he'll be very happy..."

"I will," volunteered Bramblestipe. "He's my candidate, after all."

"OK," meowed Spiritwind. "Now that that's settled, we have one last entrant."

Da gang groaned. "Again?" complained Starglow.

"Don't worry, this is the last campaigner we're taking. No more after this," Spiritwind assured her. As she spoke, a russet furred she-cat shimmered into view. When she was fully materialized, the FireClan medicine cat went on, "Care to introduce yourself?"

The black she-cat studied da gang carefully. Wait. _Black_ she-cat? Wasn't she russet furred two seconds ago? Spiritwind shook herself. It must have been a trick of the materialization.

"Cool fur," mewed Swampwhisker. "You look like a cat of LeopardClan with all those spots."

"I think she's delusional too," muttered Starglow.

"Yeah," agreed Moonstar. "Can't you see that she's white with black pawtips?"

"Well we already knew that _you _were delusional," muttered Spiritwind. "She's black as night. Anyways - "

"Stupid fangirls. She's obviously tortoiseshell and white," mewed Eaglefoot. "What, are you all blind?"

"Yes, I am, as a matter of fact!" snapped Airwing.

"Please. Calm down," the cat in question interrupted suddenly. Despite her being the subject of discussion, everyone seemed to have forgotten she was there, and turned to look at her with startled expressions. "My name is Sagestar. Every cat sees me differently," she explained. "If you look away, I'll look different when you look back." As she said it, each cat tried it, and emitted gasps as they turned back around and found themselves staring at a completely different cat. "I'm here to manage the Jaypaw campaign."

"Jaypaw? He's an apprentice," Moonstar pointed out.

"Yes, but a very well qualified apprentice," argued Sagestar.

"Besides, if he's going to take over the world, he's gotta start somewhere," Spiritwind added. Moonstar glared at her. "What?" she mewed defensively. Moonstar rolled her eyes.

"OK. As long as we can just get the campaigns started already," Moonstar mused. Every cat seemed to brighten at that. "Go on now; go find your candidates!"

They needed no second bidding. As soon as the words left her muzzle, they scampered off. Rainfire tripped over Firehawk, and Eaglefoot fell over both of them. Aurorastream turned to help, and was promptly bowled over by Silvermist and Feathertail.

It was Spiritwind's turn to roll her eyes. "Hey, Moonstar, it doesn't look like we're getting anywhere..."

Moonstar shrugged. "As long as time's not moving in the real world. I have basketball practice and House is on at nine."

Spiritwind rolled her eyes again. "So, are we starting on the campaign or what?"

"And miss the new episode of House?"

"I don't care. I'm not watching till his minions are back," snapped Spiritwind. "Now c'mon, Brackenfur needs us." And with that, the two cats darted after their fellow campaigners.

OOOOO

They'd been running for about five minutes, a decent distance behind the rest of the group, when Spiritwind skidded to a halt. Moonstar nearly bowled her over as she tried to slow her momentum. "_What?_" growled Moonstar irritably. "You were the one who wanted to hurry up."

"Shouldn't we take notes?" asked Spiritwind, seemingly out of nowhere.

"On what?" demanded Moonstar.

"Who's doing who."

"Watch it."

"What?"

"What you say."

"Oh."

There was an awkward silence.

"So _now_ who's making the T-rated jokes?" Spiritwind muttered.

There was another silence.

"We really should take notes," Spiritwind finally meowed. "Just on who's doing which campaign, if nothing else. I can't keep track. Think you can make a notebook appear out of nowhere?"

"I could poof it into existance, but you say I do that all wrong," Moonstar complained.

"When did I say that?" asked Spiritwind. "Oh, right. When you want to transport us here," she answered herself. "Well, you _would _have screwed that up...but I really want a notebook." She shrugged. "I'm too lazy. Just do it. And don't make anything explode."

Moonstar looked genuinely upset. "Why not?"

"Because we're on ThunderClan territory and we don't want to burn anything," Spiritwind meowed matter-of-factly. "Besides, it'd make Brackenfur look bad. And I, for one, don't want my fur burned off."

"OK. Stand back." The FireClan leader backed into a circle of trees, where she was as far as possible from each one. She inspected a blade of grass poking its head out of the ground. "That looks flammable..."

"Just do it," mewed Spiritwind impatiently.

"Alright." Moonstar closed her eyes. "One... two... three...POOF!"

Without warning, there was an explosion. Spiritwind was thrown backwards, and lucky for her, collided with a mossy tree. She coughed out some smoke and blinked her eyes free of the debris. When she was finally able to see, she saw an ash and soot soaked Moonstar standing in the middle of a ring burnt, blackened plants. She felt a hot pain coming from her left forepaw, and when she looked down, she noticed it was _on fire_. She leapt up and down wildly in panic until the fire was smothered, leaving a crispy burnt patch of not-so-much-left fur on her forepaw.

"Figures," she mused.

"Hey, look, I did it!" meowed Moonstar excitedly. And sure enough, there was an unscatched notebook lying at the leader's paws. An unscathed _Hello Kitty _notebook.

"What in StarClan's name..." Spiritwind trailed off, wondering why she was friends with Moonstar anyways. She padded forward, cautious of her burnt paw, and picked up the notebook in her teeth.

"Well, it's good enough," she decided, setting it down. "I think I'll write with some berry juice so you don't have to conjure a pen." Of course, this took _a lot_ longer, but after a lot of berry squeezing and soot getting accidentally mixed in, Spiritwind was ready to write.

_Brackenfur - Moonstar and Spiritwind_

_Sandstorm - Starglow_

_Thornclaw - Aurorastream_

_Brambleclaw - Bramblestripe_

_Cloudtail - Swampwhisker_

_Leafpool - Rainfire, Firehawk and Gingerface_

_Dustpelt - Eaglefoot_

_Silvermist - Silvermist and Feathertail_

_Squirrelflight - Airwing_

_Jaypaw - Sagestar_

"Did I miss anyone?" asked Spiritwind.

"I don't think so," replyed Moonstar, shaking herself free of more soot as she spoke. "Don't worry about it. They'll be sure to point it out to you if you are."

"Fine. Let's get back to camp now," Spiritwind replied. "And we need to think of a pretty good excuse for all these burnt plants on the way," she added with a glare.

Moonstar responded by flicking a large portion of soot into her friend's face. Spiritwind squealed, blinked, then cuffed Moonstar over the head. Some things never change...

But ThunderClan was in for the biggest change in history.

* * *

Moonstar: (flings lunch at Spiritwind) 

Spiritwind: (ducks and cuffs Moonstar)

Moonstar: ow...you're making me lose brain cells!

Spiritwind: I didn't know you had any to begin with...

Moonstar: (rubbing head) anyways, special thanks to everyone who reviewed. We love you! (hugs all)

Spiritwind: (rolls eyes) you're so corny.

Moonstar: I like corn...

Spiritwind: anyway, tell us if we missed your character on the list. Sorry, but we have a lot of people, and it's hard to keep track.

Moonstar: and we mean it this time: NO MORE ENTRIES!!

Spiritwind: calm, deep breaths Moonstar. Also, any ideas for "chapter themes" (i.e guidance counselors) are welcome...

Moonstar: ...but not guarunteed to be used.

Spiritwind: so...see you next time we update!

Moonstar: you mean next time _I _update.

Spiritwind: whatever. (snores)


End file.
